Real?

It seems like a dream now.
Was it ever real?
The feelings of dread,
The panic.
How could it be real?

But yes, it was.
It was real.
The feelings were real.
The panic was real.

I wish it was not true,
But alas it is.
Stuck in my memory
Forever and ever.

©C.Andreas

Goals

You are my everything.
My motivation.
What kept me sane
In those terrifying hours.

Getting home was
My only goal
Getting into your arms
Being safe again

I could cry then
Now I just need
To get to you
To be safe again

©C.Andreas

Nothing is right.

A dream.
A terrible dream.
Everything is wrong.
Nothing is right.

I can't see you.
I can't hear you.
I panic.
Nothing is right.

The cries of little children,
Of scared women
I freeze.
Nothing is right.

This is not a dream.
I can't see you.
I can't hear you.
Nothing is right.

I just want to be home.
In your arms.
But I am here.
Nothing is right.

©C.Andreas

Broken Relationship.

Broken relationship.
How long can this last?
Your fake voice is so familiar
Your real voice has disappeared.

I miss the real you.
Not sure how much more I can take.
Since you abandoned me,
It has never been the same.

What happened to us?
Was it me?
Did I disappoint you?
Do you hate me?

I've grown up.
I don't care if you like who I've become
Because I don't like who you've become.
Broken relationship,
Will we ever fix it?

©C.Andreas

Favorite things

Elves, dwarves, and hobbits.
Magic, power, and mystery.
Kings, queens, and wizards.
War, old gods, and breweries.

These are a few of my favorite things.

©C.Andreas

5 years

Many things have happened in 5 years
We fell in love
We grew up
We moved out
We moved away
We got married

Many more things will happen in the next 5 years
Moving out
Owning our own place
Reproducing
New car
New jobs

I cannot wait to see how we grow!


©C.Andreas

Garruk, Primal Hunter

Creatures of all types
Big and strong
Stomp down the enemy

In an instant I will
Make you stronger
You hit harder and faster

Bring him down
Piece by piece
He is destroyed

All hail Garruk, Primal Hunter
All the creatures
Will end your life


©C.Andreas

Life

Life can change in an instant.
One moment you have
Everything planned out
The next, your plans change.
Such is life.
Do not forget this.
©C.Andreas

Elf

Her hair dark as the night sky
Her eyes blue as the ocean
Her skin a soft pale peach
Her ears come to a point
Her face is angled beautifully
Her walk is graceful
Her steps make not a sound
Her age is unknown
Her words are like music
Her hearing is like a cat
Her eyesight is beyond the imagination
Her race is elf
 ©C.Andreas

Stupid words

Words, words
Stupid words
They will not come to me

Words, words
Pretty words
They escape me

I have an image in my head
I cannot paint it
So I try to use words

They elude me
Words, words
Stupid words
©C.Andreas

Nocturnal Moon

The moon comes out at night

That is when everything feels right

I can not sleep unless it is light

I am nocturnal like the moon

©C.Andreas

Happiness

All I want in my life is happiness. 
I don't care about nice cars and big houses.
I just want to be happy.
He gives that to me. 
But apparently you don't understand that.

To me success is not based on how much money you make
Or much stuff you have.
It's about the people in your life
And how they make you feel.
How happy are you?

Why is it so hard for people to accept this?
I know what I am getting myself into...
Its like you think I don't know him.
But surprise, surprise I do.
I probably know him better than you.

I refuse to let go of my happiness because you think
"he's not good enough for you"
"there are other fish in sea"
"you can do better"
When really he is the best there is for ME. 

To the people who talk bad about us
To the people who think I can do "better"
To the people who think just because their relationship didn't work 
Mine won't work either....


Fuck you.

©C.Andreas

My Wedding Day

Standing in the hallway

All of our closest friends there

The music starts

You start walking

I can't see you

The nerves hit me like a brick wall

The guys walk down

Next song starts

The ladies walk down

My song starts

Daddy gives me a kiss

Tells me it will be alright

We start walking 

All I see is you

All my nerves fade away

We say our vows

We exchange rings

And swords

Our ceremony ends

And the rest of our life beings

As husband and wife

8-5-2011

The best day of my life

©C.Andreas

What Really Matters

Even though our apartment is shitty
And money is really fucking tight
Food is a luxury
And it's always too cold or too hot.
Never "just right"
The neighbors are loud
And the stove likes to smoke
But I've never been happier in my entire life.
©C.Andreas

Untitled

Indescribable.

This feeling I have.

Itching to get away.

But scared out of my mind to leave.

So ready to pack up

So hesitant to do so

Are we ready for this?

Yes.

At least that is what I want to believe

Take a risk

And hope it doesn't fall apart.

Take a risk

You have the whole rest of your like to fix it if something goes wrong.

You need to get out of this place.

Out of the drama

Out of the judgments

Out of the way

Take a risk

Get on with your life

©C.Andreas

The Seperation

I am confused.

Not sure what to think

Or say, or do.

All I know is gone. 

All I knew was you.

You're not happy

I understand.

But how can I trust in love

Alone to fix this?

How can I trust in love?

You say you don't hate each other

Why can I hear it in your voice?

Why can I see it in your eyes?

Why?

I can't do this.

I can't choose.

I refuse.

All I know is gone.

All I knew was you.

©C.Andreas

Melting Ice

I'm falling to sleep

The wind blows fiercely

It's getting colder

The snow is frozen

The moon casts a cold light

Upon the earth

I can not find warmth

I fall asleep

Morning comes

I have little warmth

Under my plethora of blankets

I go about my day

Freezing. Always freezing.

The sun shines an icy light on the world

No warmth comes from it 

The wind still blows its lung piercing gusts

So cold.

Can't breath.

It hurts.

Then...I see him.

I can breath.

He encloses his arms around me

I am no longer cold.

I can feel again.

He melted the ice around my heart

I feel so vulnerable..Yet so safe. 

I am in love 

©C.Andreas